my dearest Copper,

Gary's alarm clock goes off this morning and I awaken to a truth that I know in my heart, but my head keeps replaying what happened hoping for a different ending. After a few minutes of deliberation my mind finally wraps around the fact that Copper is gone. He died yesterday, today he would have been two months old. I loved him with all my heart, I loved him for three years as I wanted and waited for him, I loved him from the minute I touched him. He filled our home with with everything we never knew was missing, everything that is gone now.

I won't go into details, but he showed no signs of being sick. Not 40 minutes prior to him showing signs we were playing tug of war with his toys and I was teaching him to sit and stay, something he was catching onto quickly, as I knew he would. The next thing I knew, I took him outside and he just laid there, lethargic. As I scooped him up, he lay limp in my arms. He only made a small cry, I didn't know then that that would be the last thing I heard him say. I ran for the car and took him to the vet, a short ride, 5 minutes later my world comes down. The vet handed me his collar and I just starred at it and cried. I was devastated, I am devastated. When the vet was explaining to me all the things that could have happened I wasn't listening. I was just hearing.

After a few minutes I asked to see him. I had to tell him I was sorry and that I loved him. The vet took me back and left me with Copper, just the two of us. I put my hand on his little head and sobbed. He felt real, like he would wake up, like I would wake up. I pet him and pet him and talked with him for what felt like forever, it was probably only 2 minutes. When Gary arrived, he too said goodbye, together, the three of us for the last time. Although we are far from our real home, we decided to bring him back to the house to bury him in the backyard. We picked a sunny spot near the woods. I watched as Gary dug the hole, in tears, not wanting to actually put Copper in there. I didn't either. He was our first family member and there isn't even a picture of all of us together. We love you Copper and will miss you so much!

I'm writing this, not so everyone can know our story and feel bad. I think it is just a way for me to account for what happened, to make it believable. I'm attaching all the pictures of him we had yet to post. Some pictures of him learning to get past his temporary gate. One of he and his brothers and sisters a few days before we picked him up.